Today has proved to be one of the hardest days of my life, and the week that proceeded it a blur of colors that are only now starting to reshape themselves into actual memories.
I got my first ever LAMDA lay-in on Monday because I wasn't called for rehearsal until 1:30. Then we had back to back dress-runs and were in bright and early on Tuesday morning to warm up for the 10:30 am show (a time that should be banned for performers everywhere). Much Ado was great, and for all of the misgivings that went along with the direction and process, everyone was really good in it - regardless of the fact that we had to twirl off stage at the end. Also; the show will now forever be retitled: "Much Ado About Margaret, or, The Tragedy of Don Pedro". Way to go J.Lips.
Wednesday & Thursday started our individual tutorial sessions; which I originally thought would be pretty scary to go into but proved to be quite helpful, and reassuring. Most of the professors wrote really comprehensive reviews of our work this term in voice, movement, singing and acting, and thankfully, my cheekiness didn't get me into too much trouble.
Friday is a whirl of packing, caroling, dancing and crying. We had a late rehearsal for our carol concert which gave us the morning to get the majority of our packing done and start dismantling our teeny tiny rooms that we called home. The carol concert, a first for me, was absolutely lovely. It was one of the only times the entire school was all in one place and to look around the beautiful church, and see the candles candles burning and everyone dressed up and enjoying each others company was so wonderful. There was far more clapping at whooping than I would have anticipated in a church, but it's an absolute testament to the supportive family that LAMDA becomes, even with a Princess in the crowd (really, there was a Princess. Her name is Alexandra and I'm not sure what she does, but she's LAMDA's royal patron and it was a big deal).
After the concert was the end of the term party. LAMDA had rented out the entire bottom floor of a club in High Street Kensington and we all go to dance and hug and cry our goodbyes to the other LAMDA kids that we might not see again. The party ended with most of the semester still there, making the most of our time together, not wanting to leave.
Which brings us to today. My room is empty, my walls bare, most of my friends are on their way home and I am back in the warm embrace of Chez Mogilner, but everything feels off. It's as if there is this big empty hole in my stomach that is supposed to be filled by something, but isn't. I guess that's what you have to expect with these kinds of programs. You spend 4 months soaking up all of the people, places, memories and experiences that you possibly can, and when it's over you're bound to feel a little empty. This, as strange as it is, is exactly what I should be feeling right now; completely exhausted, sad, lonely and so grateful for every second I spent with the wonderful people in the unbelievable city that made this term so incredible. There are no words to properly thank everyone that got me here, made this time what it was, and walked away leaving impressions that have shaped who I am. I know that I will never have an experience quite like this ever again and because of that I can't help but be sad, and incredibly thankful.
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